My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
