you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
