I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Small penises have feelings too.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
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