This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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