i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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