I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
