I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm both gender and math confused
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
