New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
