quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize