So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize