so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
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So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
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So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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