what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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