You can't motorboat a personality
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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