oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
