At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize