ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
