her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
My pussy is not your playground.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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