Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
