I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
