i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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