k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
