That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
