oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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