So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
