I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize