I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
