They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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