Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
