My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize