we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
