Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
