Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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