that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize