I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize