she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize