I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
