just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
