so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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