I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
