Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
