you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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