i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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