so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
