just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
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and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
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Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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