I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
