Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
So squirting runs in the family.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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