i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
