Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
