Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
