Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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