Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
