He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
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i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
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Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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