david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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