So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
