I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
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if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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