I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
