My brain says no but my pants say off.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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