They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
