Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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