I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
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if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
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My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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