I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
