You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize