I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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