I accidentally burped into my bong.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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